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Chapter 14
Parents and Extended Family Relationships
Summary
The relationship a child experiences with his or her parents while growing up continues to exert a profound influence on that person as an adult. Both satisfying and disruptive memories and emotions may be carried into marriage.
Parent-child relationships become particularly important in the mate selection process. Parents may try to influence a childs choice of spouse. Parental objections to a childs choice of spouse may drive the couple into each others arms. Rebellion against parents also impairs childrens judgment in choosing a spouse.
People can do several things when parents disapprove of their spouse choice. They can try to get their parents to like their spouse and can give their parents time and opportunity to get acquainted. They can discuss the situation with their parents, and they can get premarital counseling.
In health families, children identify with the roles of their parents ad learn what mother, father, and spouse are like from their parents. Identification may be positive or negative.
People may develop unrealistic or unhealthy expectation about marriage from the example set by their own parents.
Despite myths to the contrary, families are a major source of help to elderly persons.
Conflicting ideas of inclusion and exclusion are a source of tension in mother-daughter relationships. Daughters may feel mothers are intrusive, mothers may feel excluded.
Conflicted relationships between adult children and parents can be a source of stress for all generations.
Because people are living longer and because a greater percentage of the population is considered elderly, families are now providing more care to their older members who may need considerable help.
The roots of in-law conflict may include the following: partners negative conditioning to expect trouble, their immaturity, the parents resentment of the spouse selected, and parents who cannot let their child go and who are overprotective and meddling.
Most young couples do not want to live with their parents after marriage, and parents do not want to live with them. When doubling up is necessary, harmony is more likely when each couple has their own space and when obligations and responsibilities have been discussed ahead of time.
There has been an increase in the number and percentage of young people who accept the idea of sharing a home with an elderly relative, but older people give up their independence and share residence with an adult child typically when forced by circumstances such as economic difficulties or divorce.
Demographic trends have resulted in more living grandparents and fewer grandchildren per grandparent.
Todays grandparents are healthier and live longer than their predecessors and are typically open to continued growth, experiences, and development will into late life.
Many coupes appreciate grandparents for all they do for them and their children.
Grandparents can help grandchildren feel secure and loved; play a crucial role during family transitions such as divorce; help grandchildren learn to know, trust, and understand other people; give grand children a sense of history; provide grandchildren with supervision and expeirneces that parent do not have the time or money to do; give grandchildren a sense of values and a philosophy of life based on their years of living; play the role of arbitrator between adult children and grandchildren; and give grandchildren a wholesome attitude toward old age.
There has been a dramatic increase in the number of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren.
Grandparent also can be important in the lives of adolescents and young adults. The maternal grandmother-granddaughter bond is the strongest of the grandparent-grandchild bonds, but paternal grandfathers and grandsons have a more intense bond than do maternal grandfathers and grandsons. Parents heavily influence the grandparent-grandchild relationship.
Grandchildren also can do many things for grandparents; provide a source of biological continuity and a sense that the family will endure, enhance grandparents overcome social isolation, and provide physical assistance.
For many, the rivalry experiences between siblings throughout childhood and adolescence begins to diminish in adulthood and gives way to more emotionally mature relationships with greater degrees of closeness.
RUBRIC |
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Excellent Quality 95-100%
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Introduction
45-41 points The background and significance of the problem and a clear statement of the research purpose is provided. The search history is mentioned. |
Literature Support 91-84 points The background and significance of the problem and a clear statement of the research purpose is provided. The search history is mentioned. |
Methodology 58-53 points Content is well-organized with headings for each slide and bulleted lists to group related material as needed. Use of font, color, graphics, effects, etc. to enhance readability and presentation content is excellent. Length requirements of 10 slides/pages or less is met. |
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Average Score 50-85% |
40-38 points More depth/detail for the background and significance is needed, or the research detail is not clear. No search history information is provided. |
83-76 points Review of relevant theoretical literature is evident, but there is little integration of studies into concepts related to problem. Review is partially focused and organized. Supporting and opposing research are included. Summary of information presented is included. Conclusion may not contain a biblical integration. |
52-49 points Content is somewhat organized, but no structure is apparent. The use of font, color, graphics, effects, etc. is occasionally detracting to the presentation content. Length requirements may not be met. |
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Poor Quality 0-45% |
37-1 points The background and/or significance are missing. No search history information is provided. |
75-1 points Review of relevant theoretical literature is evident, but there is no integration of studies into concepts related to problem. Review is partially focused and organized. Supporting and opposing research are not included in the summary of information presented. Conclusion does not contain a biblical integration. |
48-1 points There is no clear or logical organizational structure. No logical sequence is apparent. The use of font, color, graphics, effects etc. is often detracting to the presentation content. Length requirements may not be met |
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Parents and Extended Family Relationships