Order ID:89JHGSJE83839 | Style:APA/MLA/Harvard/Chicago | Pages:5-10 |
Instructions:
A Ticket to Talk Assignment
There is an exercise that is frequently used in marriage counseling to help people
improve their listening skills called “A Ticket to Talk.” Take a 3×5 card or a coffee cup,
etc. And whoever has the card is the only one who can talk. When that person is
finished talking, the person without the card must paraphrase back to the person with
the card what they heard. The person with the card determines if the other person
accurately heard what they said. If they did then the other person gets the card. If not,
then the person with the card restates their thoughts and the person without the card
makes another attempt at paraphrasing. Obviously, the person with the card does not
want to recite the “Sermon on the Mount” or “The Cremation of Sam Magee”, where
they dominate the floor. When you have the ticket, keep your message to a few
paragraphs.
Using Think-Aloud Pair Problem Solving (TAPPS) collaborative groups of two will
perform the ticket to talk exercise addressing the topic “Where do I want to be five
years from now?”
Follow-up
How confident are you that you can improve your listening skills?
How committed are you to improving your communication skills?
What barriers are you aware of that get in the way of your listening?
Can you see how being able to empathize with another person will improve your
listening skills?
With your spouse, partner, close friend, pick a topic and practice the “Ticket to Talk”
exercise. Journal about how the experience was for you and the other person.
Whole Task Objectives Follow-up
How would you relate listening, empathy, and communication to diverse and complex
issues in resiliency?
Toolbox Listening Skills Empathy Ticket to Talk
22.2 Objective:
Describe the concept of “fighting” and the mediating resilience skills.
Whole Task Objective
Understand the concept of communication.
Relevancy
We all would like to live in relationships where there is no conflict. However, this is
unrealistic optimism and such a fantasy does not teach us the skills to be resilient.
Fighting, disagreements, or conflicts are a part of the human condition. We all have
different backgrounds, different life experiences, and different perspectives. Rather
than seeing this as a negative; if we can alter our thinking and see it as an opportunity
to learn about ourselves and other people we are less likely to have prolonged,
stressful conflicts with other people. However, we all have different thoughts and
beliefs about “fighting” and this impacts how we fight. Some people feel that they
have to win an argument at any cost, even if it means the end of a relationship. Other
people will be more “passive-aggressive” in their fighting style and appear to
acquiesce, only to ambush the person at another time or about another topic.
Markman (2001) indicated that there are five different “communication filters” that
impact our abilities to communicate effectively in times of conflict: 1) external and
internal distractions, 2) emotional states, 3) beliefs and expectations 4) differences in
communication styles, 5) self-protection or fear of being rejected. Each of these can
and does impact our effectiveness and resilience in the midst of conflict. For example,
if we have a belief that we have to defend ourselves when someone says something
hurtful to us or makes us afraid, we are not going to express the REAL feeling, but a
manufactured one (i.e., anger).
Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud. — Hermann Hesse
Pretest
What are your beliefs about fighting?
Is it more important for you to be right or resolve the differences between you and
another person? Explain.
What are your beliefs about resolving conflict?
Activity
Our thoughts and beliefs can profoundly impact how we perceive a situation. If we
believe that every time someone disagrees with us is an assault on our intelligence,
then even the smallest remark can be seen as an attack. If we are already
hypervigilant, then we are even more vulnerable to overreacting to the smallest
perceived slight from someone. If we believe that conflict is to be avoided at all costs
because we are afraid of our reaction or have fear of being rejected, then we will build
up resentment towards the person(s) we are in conflict with and we will find more
clandestine ways to get back at them. One of the ways that we can stop conflict from
escalating is by becoming good listeners.
Most of us just want to be listened to and be understood. If we can communicate that
effectively to another person, we have gone a long way to de-escalating a conflict. If
we become caustic, demeaning and belittling of someone’s thoughts and perceptions
then we only fuel the fight. Brooks and Goldstein (2003, p. 119) offer some good
questions to think about when we are in conflict with others:
o Would I want anyone to talk to me the way I speak to others?
o How would others describe me as I communicate with them?
o What makes it easier for me to listen to what others have to say?
o What do others say or do that turns me off and keeps me from listening to their
message?
There are basically four ways that humans communicate with each other: 1)
aggressively, which is where the aggressor’s feelings count and the other persons
don’t 2) passively, which is where the other person’s feelings count and the passive
person’s don’t, 3) assertively, where my feelings count and so do yours and 4) passive-
aggressively, which is where one person pretends to say the other person’s feelings
count, but they really don’t believe that.
Obviously the most effective way of communicating when we are fighting with
someone is to do so assertively.
Consider viewing the chapter Eyewitness (approximately 6 minutes) from the video,
Twelve Angry Men.
What things do other people do or say that make me want to fight with them?
What self-defeating thoughts can I identify that cause me to start or escalate conflicts?
What does it mean to me if I try to see things from another person’s point of view?
How much is your self-image or self- worth on the line in an argument?
Follow-up
Do I believe that I am a better person if I actively make an effort to see someone else’s
point of view?
Do I believe that I can fight with some and still be respectful of them?
How confident am I that if I change my perspective I can reduce the amount of
conflicts I have with others?
When you get into a conflict with someone this next week, or avoid conflict, use your
ABC sheets or Challenging Beliefs Worksheets to identify thoughts and beliefs that you
have about the situation and that person.
Whole Task Objectives Follow-up
How would you relate the concept of fighting fair to that of diverse and complex
issues?
Toolbox: Fighting fair
References
Brooks, R. and Goldstein, S. (2003). The Power of Resilience. New York: McGraw-Hill.
Markman, H.J., Stanley, S.M. and Blumberg, S.L. (2001). Fighting for Your Marriage.
San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Reivich, K. and Shatté, A. (2002). The Resiliency Factor. New York: Broadway Books.
Tannen, D (2001). You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New
York: Quill.
Q&A
Address any issues from prior session.
23.1 Objective
Describe differences between listening and hearing.
Whole Task Objective
Understand the concept of communication.
Relevancy
Learning how to communicate effectively is imperative in becoming an effective
resilient learner. Listening is a learned voluntary action and a critical skill for effective
learning.
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. — Robert McCloskey
Prior Learning
Listening is a skill that can be learned. That is, if I want to be listened to, then I must
also learn how to listen. Effective listeners make the best communicators because they
are aware of what their audience wants and needs from them. They have heard it, not
just the words, but the message behind the words.
Pretest
How would you rate your ability to communicate — listen? Rate your level of ability
from 0 to 100, 0 being no ability, and 100 being totally able.
Activity
Sherfield, Montgomery, and Moody, (2008) argue the differences between hearing and
listening; whereas hearing is not learned, it is an involuntary action, listening is a
learned voluntary action and a critical skill for effective learning. Goh (2002) found
that although listeners used many similar strategies, the higher ability listener
demonstrated more effective use of both cognitive and metacognitive tactics.
Metacognition is typically defined as a self-awareness of one’s cognitive processes and
making use of this self-awareness to purposively control one’s cognitive processes.
These cognitive processes include such tactics as planning, monitoring, revising, and
evaluating (Brown, 1987). Therefore the more astute listener is purposefully planning,
monitoring, revising, and evaluating as part of the listening process.
Using Think-Aloud Pair Problem Solving (TAPPS) collaborative groups of two will
identify personal tactics for effective listening and obstacles to listening.
Follow-up
What are some of your obstacles to effective listening?
How might you correct for these obstacles?
Whole Task Objectives Follow-up
How would you relate the concept of listening and hearing to that of communication?
Toolbox Listening
23.2 Objective
Describe how to identify key words of importance in a lecture.
Whole Task Objective
Understand the concept of communication.
Relevancy
RUBRIC |
||||||
Excellent Quality 95-100%
|
Introduction
45-41 points The background and significance of the problem and a clear statement of the research purpose is provided. The search history is mentioned. |
Literature Support 91-84 points The background and significance of the problem and a clear statement of the research purpose is provided. The search history is mentioned. |
Methodology 58-53 points Content is well-organized with headings for each slide and bulleted lists to group related material as needed. Use of font, color, graphics, effects, etc. to enhance readability and presentation content is excellent. Length requirements of 10 slides/pages or less is met. |
|||
Average Score 50-85% |
40-38 points More depth/detail for the background and significance is needed, or the research detail is not clear. No search history information is provided. |
83-76 points Review of relevant theoretical literature is evident, but there is little integration of studies into concepts related to problem. Review is partially focused and organized. Supporting and opposing research are included. Summary of information presented is included. Conclusion may not contain a biblical integration. |
52-49 points Content is somewhat organized, but no structure is apparent. The use of font, color, graphics, effects, etc. is occasionally detracting to the presentation content. Length requirements may not be met. |
|||
Poor Quality 0-45% |
37-1 points The background and/or significance are missing. No search history information is provided. |
75-1 points Review of relevant theoretical literature is evident, but there is no integration of studies into concepts related to problem. Review is partially focused and organized. Supporting and opposing research are not included in the summary of information presented. Conclusion does not contain a biblical integration. |
48-1 points There is no clear or logical organizational structure. No logical sequence is apparent. The use of font, color, graphics, effects etc. is often detracting to the presentation content. Length requirements may not be met |
|||
You Can Also Place the Order at www.collegepaper.us/orders/ordernow or www.crucialessay.com/orders/ordernow
A Ticket to Talk Assignment |
A Ticket to Talk Assignment